Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
