it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize