I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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