operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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