I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
ttyl tear gas
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
