he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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