How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
