I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
