yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
