ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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