Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
