Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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