his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
