so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
How naked do you want me to be?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
