Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Panties = found
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
