batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
