i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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