Pregnant stripper...not hot.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
