And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
