Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I want to fling myself into the sun
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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