Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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