Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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