I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
