The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
