This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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