Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses youâ€
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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