In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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