Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
