Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
