My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
