My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
