He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
