I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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