I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
