she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
