she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i wish my penis had a tongue
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
