conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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