Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
