I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
