you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Couch. On fire.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
