he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
