My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
