my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
