Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
