he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just invented taco cereal.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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