so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
