I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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