nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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