btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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