You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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