I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
