That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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