He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
