I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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