he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
