i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
