Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
